I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
