Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
