Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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