Don't you send me to vm
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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