somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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