i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
