why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
