The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
PANTIES FOUND
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize