i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
