Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
