That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
