At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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