Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
