remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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