think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
