lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
