I think my vagina is haunted
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
