i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
