I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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