Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Houston, we have a blender
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize