i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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