tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
