escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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