I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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