Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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