Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I want to fling myself into the sun
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