I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
