They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
