some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
