I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
