i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
