we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
