i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
