what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
