I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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