He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
