there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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