Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
its not stalking. its research.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
