I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
