just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
