I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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