Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
