woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
