Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
