Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
