I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
