What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This is the high leading the old right now
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
