how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
