So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
did i walk over a car last night?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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