he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
