No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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